PSA: Phony Pheminists
Terri Whitehouse September 15th, 2008
Aww, how precious. Conservatives have gone and discovered pheminism. A whole week-ish after I called it like I saw it, B. Hussein Osama’s uppity ass went and said that the same old bullshit by any other name still stinks.
It doesn’t just stink. It STANKS!
At any rate, it’s really sweet to see the GOP hustle at developing their pheminist muscles. (No, I’m not talking about kegels.) To the conservatives out there who are new to pheminism, I’d like to offer a very brief rundown of the concept. I understand that you’ve dedicated your whole lives to harming women’s physical, psychological, and financial well-being, so there are bound to be early failures. Pheminism, like any asset worth having, doesn’t develop over night. You’ve got to practice!
First off, rushing to the defense of your VP, as though she were a Damsel in Distress and not a damn pit bull-skinned moose hunter is problematic. Read and learn. No, rape is nowhere near as bad as some boy being a big meanie, but I think the same concept applies.
Secondly, please understand the difference between “feminism” and “pheminism.” Feminists are a bunch of fugly, hairy, man-hating sluts that care about shit like getting paid, and not dying as a result of pregnancy. Real trivial crap.
Pheminists, on the other hand, are beautiful, non-threatening white women (mostly) who collect wingnut welfare and have made hefty money putting bitches in their place. Intellectually, feminists win hands down, but who wants to hang with a bunch of humorless brainiacs? Pheminists are women, so you don’t have to hide or feel all guilty about your deep-seeded innate hatred of them.
Finally, it’s 2008, not 1968. Therefore, it’s probably not the brightest idea to call out supposed sexist attacks by reverting back to racist dogwhistles. While it’s admirable that you’re coming to pheminism in the 9th inning, better not to do it on the back of racism. That’s not how feminism works.
(x-posted: B&P)
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