Ditch Mitch KY

A Response to KY GOP Chairman Steve Robertson

Matt Gunterman July 20th, 2007

Here’s my response to KY GOP Chairman Steve Robertson’s letter to Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards that was sent out earlier this week. You can read a copy of his letter here.

July 20, 2007

Mr. Steve Robertson
c/o The Republican Party of Kentucky
P.O. Box 1068
Frankfort, Kentucky 40602

Dear Steve,

Earlier this week you made public a letter you’d addressed to Democratic presidential contender John Edwards, who was in Kentucky at the time to promote the launch of his Road to One America campaign, which partly highlights the plight of the nation’s poor.

An essential element of your letter to Mr. Edwards was the argument that it’s somehow ludicrous for a wealthy Democrat like him to fight on behalf of America’s downtrodden.

In considering your words, I was made to wonder whether it’s equally fair to question whether male Republicans, like Governor Ernie Fletcher and yourself, can hold similarly strong opinions about the reproductive rights of women, when neither you nor the governor have wombs.

Surely, I thought, with such a nimble intellect and quick wit as yours—which was on ample display in the originality of the content of your own letter—your logic would never be so fatally flawed.

I am therefore left no choice but to conclude that Governor Fletcher and yourself do indeed possess some choice aspects of the female anatomy, and I believe this fact goes a long way in explaining the past behavior of you both.

It appears that, where most of us have a colon, Governor Fletcher has a uterus and that God gave the man a set of testicles where all the rest of us got our tonsils. This arrangement of reproductive parts, of course, explains quite well why the Governor has buried his head where the sun doesn’t shine for most of his term in office. At least he, if no-one else, has found some pleasure in the experience.

As for you, I think God put your bits-and-pieces alongside the big toe of your right foot, and stuck a uterus at the back of your throat.

And that’s why you keep your foot in your mouth so damn much.

Kindest regards,

Matt Gunterman
Founder and Editor-in-Chief, DitchMitchKY.com