Matt Gunterman May 8th, 2007

Since so many of our readers on this blog aren’t from Kentucky — many found it when it was featured on The Politico and others simply have an interest in following the election prospects of the nation’s #1 money-grubbing, influence-mongering, Bush-enabling Republican senator, Mitch McConnell — they might not be aware of many of the non-elected personalities that contribute to Kentucky’s political environment. Let me introduce you to just one such personality today.

Now, Kentucky Republicans aren’t a terribly intellectually dynamic bunch. Senator Mitch McConnell, in fact, has purposefully nurtured a political machine that is by its very nature not creative or interested in thinking outside the box. McConnell’s not a visionary himself (he’s just a master of procedure) and he doesn’t like visionaries in his operation.

While there aren’t any intellectuals among Kentucky Republicans, there are some that you have to genuinely recognize as a little more intelligent than the average racist, bigoted, homophobic, sexist, xenophobic troglodyte that makes up Mitch McConnell’s political base. Yes, indeed, there are a few above average racist, bigoted, homophobic, sexist, xenophobic troglodytes there.

One of these admittedly above average sorts is John David Dyche, whose major claim to fame in Kentucky, I guess, is that he’s a Harvard Law alumnus. Now, those of us who know multiple Harvard Law alumni are quite aware that they’re on the whole a very efficient and capable bunch, but you probably wouldn’t label them as dynamically creative as a group.

Dyche, however, is a Harvard Law man who refuses to accept his robotic nature; he instead longs to be recognized as a creative soul, even though there’s not a creative bone in his body. Dyche is, therefore, a man tormented by a rather terrible sort of Cartesian duality.

For years, Dyche has been working on a biography of Mitch McConnell. When it will be published, no-one knows, but if it’s the ending he’s having problems writing — if that’s what’s holding him up — then it’s the ending we shall give him here.

But, what about the quality of Dyche’s political analysis, you ask? For even robots can crunch numbers (of course, the numbers on McConnell don’t look so good), right?

Here’s a sample of Dyche’s brilliance on why McConnell will be formidable in 2008:

Separation from Republicans.

Democrats will try to link McConnell to President Bush in 2008, but he long ago mastered the art of establishing his political independence. McConnell irked some local Republicans by running his own race against Hollenbach, and running on a GOP slate almost allowed Malone to win.

McConnell ran with Ronald Reagan atop the ticket in 1984, but denies gaining from the Gipper’s coattails. He began in 1990 by emphasizing his ties to the first George Bush, but by separating after the president broke his “no new taxes” promise, McConnell survived the sour anti-incumbent national mood.

[...]

Yes, Dyche, we Democrats will have a hard time connecting McConnell with Bush. Yeah, a really hard time. I guess Dyche doesn’t quite understand what even most Republicans understand: by nature of the position, the senate minority leader can’t separate himself or herself from the president so easily. McConnell accepted the position on the presumption that he’d have no hard battle in 2008.

He was wrong. Why was he wrong? Because he’s not a political genius.

• 2008 KY U.S. Senate Race , Charlie Owen , Mitch McConnell
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