Joe Sonka January 20th, 2008

(crossposted at BlueGrassRoots)

(This email is from Heather Ryan. For the backstory on this, read here, here, here, and here.) 

Hello everyone,

I've received many e-mails and calls requesting updates on the Mitch McConnell/Heather Ryan saga, and relaying your support for me and my family.  I appreciate your concern more than I can express!  Here is the latest in the ongoing drama, now known as my life.

As expected, I met with my Board of Directors on Friday night to discuss the "incident" with Senator McConnell and his staff, which as you know, happened at the theater in which I am employed.  As you are certainly keenly aware, I generally have a great number of words from which I choose to describe my reaction to any given situation.  However, when I heard about the character assassination Senator McConnell and his staff pulled on me 72 hours preceding the board meeting, the only phrase I can think of which describes my reaction in this particular case is "shocked shitless".  Perhaps it's a Midwestern saying, maybe it's something I learned in boot camp years ago, I'm not sure.  I do know that it is neither eloquent nor a fine use of grammar, but it is truly the only way I can describe the utter disgust I felt when I learned  what Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell accused me and my daughter of doing….

Apparently, during those many conversations Senator McConnell and his staff shared with his wealthy donors as well as the business and political leaders of the city, he elaborated on what seems to be an entirely different scene from what Heaven and I experienced.  Senator McConnell and his big, burly security entourage were terrified of this 5'3" handycam toting mother and her 70 pound pre-teen.  According to numerous accounts, they insist that we were wielding antagonistic signs, pounding on the theater's windows, attempting to ruin the filming of his re-election campaign commercial, harassing his security personnel, banging on the SUV which was chauffeuring around the Senator and (this is my personal favorite) screaming, "I hope you die" to the Senator.  Now people, I know that we have been through seven rough years of idiocy in the White House, but work with me here.  Let's put aside the moron mentality which our leaders desire we use and put to practice some common sense.  If you have peeked your head out the door for any portion of the past seven years, you realize that you simply CANNOT make "Terroristic Threats" toward ANYONE in government, let alone the Senior Senator in the Republican Party!  Come On!  If this were even remotely true, don't you think Heaven and I would be spending a little time visiting our friends in the "Bed and Breakfast" run by the McCracken County Sheriff?  These claims are OUTRAGEOUS and make me look like a complete nut case - which is apparently what Senator McConnell intended.  His Chief of Staff actually called some of the power players in Paducah from Washington, D.C., the following day, to let them know how "disturbed" both he and the Senator were by our actions (see previous update regarding cutting funding to Paducah pork programs if the nut case [me] remains affiliated with the city).  Then, certain members of my board were told to "take care of the situation" - as if they are supposed to channel Tony Soprano.  So, that's how we found ourselves in a 6:00 PM emergency meeting of the Board of Directors. 

After vehemently denying all of these crazy assertions, we simply popped "exhibit A" into the VCR, which was dragged into the conference room especially for this occasion.  Oh look, there we were, in front of the theater, filming McConnell, just as I said we did.  Hmmm, oddly enough, we weren't banging on the windows, acting like morons, screaming about our desire for the Senator's demise - we were simply expressing our First Amendment Right to ask the Senator about the War in Iraq.  Crazy as it may seem, the tape also showed his overly ambitious, middle management security staff being complete assholes, just as I said they were, and the Senator arrogantly blowing us off, just as I said he did.  Needless to say, the meeting broke up shortly thereafter, with some expressions of disgust about being misled, because there is simply no evidence that I was the stark raving lunatic to which Senator McConnell and his staff insisted. 

Now, you may still be wondering, "Heather, do you still have a job"?  Well friends, that remains to be seen.  As just another bizarre twist with this story, certain members of my board were disturbed that this story was posted to a blog by one of my friends and has received a bit of attention on the Internet.  I guess I'll know within the next few days.  However, as I explained to my board, and as I will explain to everyone who receives this update, when I wrote my first e-mail it was simply a fun conversation between me and my friends about my crazy day.  Follow ups were simply that - a follow up to my crazy day.  I thank my lucky stars that one of my friends had the forethought to post the story of my crazy day, because as I was putting fingers to keys, Senator McConnell was effectively making me unemployable in the city of Paducah, and perhaps the Commonwealth, as he threatened funding to anyone associated with me and accused me of being a frothing lunatic howling at the moon.  Grazie, Don Vito Corleone! 

To be continued, I'm sure!  

• Mitch McConnell , Ryangate
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